Pyro-Douchebags and Independence Day

An open letter to a select few of those living around me:

Dear Shitheads:

In case you haven't noticed, we live in a fairly rural part of town.  We live on hills with many trees and brush.  Within these trees and brush live  many cool animals who just want to wake up in the morning and not find their homes burned away by reveling idiots.  Near those trees, brush and animals are actual homes with actual fucking people living in them.  Speaking for them, I think it's safe to say that they want to wake up and find the same thing.

You live in a town where fireworks are illegal.  Shooting rockets into the sky from here is not only really illegal, but very stupid.  Aside from the fact that your fireworks freak our border collie into a frenzy, look around douchebag - these hills in which we live are  basically a forest.  Granted, we call it the Lyme Disease Forest - but it's forest/woods  by any perspective.  So what does that tell you?  It tells you that lighting off  explosives, how ever well intentioned to celebrate our independence, is too fucking dangerous for this neighborhood.

I know this is probably hard for you to understand, what with it being 10 AM and you probably already  drunker and dumber than Mel Gibson was during his infamous Malibu Sheriff's office tirade. But damn it assholes, put your fucking fireworks away so you don't burn down my fucking neighborhood.

Go to a fireworks show or watch one on TV, I really don't care.  Go to a friend's house in a town that allows fireworks (like the one five miles west of us). But please, go blow your shit up somewhere safe and get it, and for that matter your dumb ass, out of my neighborhood.

Thank you and have an enjoyable Fourth of July - you prick-fucks!

Sincerely,
G